You Are Perfect. Right Now.

“I missed two items on the exam.” I heard this from a coaching student last week. He smiled and went on to say, “the perfectionist in me wanted to get 100%.”

I asked him, “How is missing two even MORE perfect than getting a perfect score?” This led to an interesting conversation that uncovered these possibilities:

> Perfection is present everywhere. Right here. Right now.

> Unexpected or unwanted circumstances cause us to learn, which causes us to grow.

> There is always more growth to be had. If we are not growing, we are stagnant, atrophying, boring.

> Perfection cues our brains to focus on: “I am enough. I have enough. There is always enough.”

> When we focus on the “enough” that surrounds us, we feel safe.

> Feeling safe allows us to feel better, which allows us to think better, which allows us to behave (take action) better, which allows us to get more of what we want.

How are your unexpected or unwanted circumstances actually “perfect” for you today?

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Share Your Message. Someone Needs to Hear It Today.

I have heard from several coaches recently who say they hesitate to blog or post. Why? Here were their reasons:

> “I don’t have anything new to say.”
> “I’m not as experienced as other people.”
> “There’s so much competition out there.”

At the root of these concerns is a sense that “I am not worthy … I am not enough … I am not needed.”

Seriously? Can you imagine saying those things to a client? You would never! So don’t say them to yourself either!

Get out there and share your message of hope and wisdom. And, if you DO have something to say that’s similar to what others have said, consider this:

> It’s the truth and needs repeated.
> You have a different sphere of readers than your colleagues.
> Your unique experiences shape your perspective, which shapes the way you say things.

I am writing today to repeat something you may already know but need to hear again:

> You are worthy.
> You are enough.
> You are needed.

Now get out there and share what’s on your heart!

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Invent A Holiday

pexels-photo-249209 (2)If you were to invent a holiday, what would you celebrate?

We just finished Valentine’s Day, and there are more holidays and celebrations on the 2017 calendar, to be sure.

I wonder how people came up with holidays in the first place! In some cases, the holiday may have formed out of simple moments of gratitude that grew over time (e.g., Thanksgiving). Others might be more intentional, such as with the loss of a magnificent person whom we want to remember (e.g., Martin Luther King, Jr.).

If you were going to create a holiday or celebration, WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT?

How would you celebrate it?

How would you make sure it didn’t become commercialized, filled with obligations and expectations?!

Chances are that your holiday is rooted in a VALUE that is important to you. When we pay attention to our values, we live in gratitude and creativity and ease. When we ignore our values, we find conflict and stress and frustration.

Posted in Career Coaching Tips, Career Wisdom, For Career Coaches, Mindset Coaching Tips, Personal Branding | Leave a comment

How to (Literally) Create Good Coaching Chemistry

Glass-flasks-chemistry-lab-get-what-you-expect-expectationsIt is life-changing to have someone in your life who “gets you.” Someone who sees you and understands you and believes in you.

Tom Rath, in his book, Vital Friends, studied homelessness and was curious about what allowed some people to conquer such dire circumstances, while most did not. His research was eye-opening. Rath discovered that the homeless people who “made it out” had an answer to the poignant question: “Who in your life expects you to be someone?”

Take a moment right now and bring the person to mind that best fits this description in your life—someone who believes in you, expects you to be someone. Now, take the next 60 seconds to bask in the good feelings of remembering the impact this person has had on your life. Feel it in your bones. Feel it in your soul. Let it wash over you like a wave.

Congratulations. You just released oxytocin into your system. And you probably feel better as a result.

So is this just all warm-and-fuzzy nonsense? Science tells us otherwise. In various studies, oxytocin has been shown to:

  • Ease stress—Anxiety, stress and depression abates after injections with oxytocin.
  • Improve our ability to interact with others—Inhaling oxytocin significantly improved the ability of people with autism to interact with others and also reduced autistic individuals’ fear of others.
  • Foster generosity—Individuals who inhaled oxytocin were 80 percent more generous in deciding how to split money with a stranger, and the hormone seemed to affect their sense of altruism as well.
  • Induce sleep—Oxytocin released in the brain under stress-free conditions naturally promotes sleep. (And, let’s be honest, most of us don’t get enough of this!)

The other important brain-friendly consequence of oxytocin is that it relaxes us. Our body language loosens up, the tension in our face drains away, and our smile warms into a natural Duchenne smile. The people we are interacting with “read” all of this in both subconscious and conscious ways and, in turn, let down their guard, as well, creating more authentic and transformative coaching conversations.

Dose yourself with some oxytocin today and notice the difference it makes in your coaching connection!

Posted in Best Practices, Career Coaching Tips, Career Wisdom, For Career Coaches, Intrepid Entrepreneur, Leadership Coaching Tips, Mindset Coaching Tips | Leave a comment